Lets get RICH!!!

COEP organized its maiden annual techfest, MindSpark 2007 last weekend. Yours truly was responsible of organizing the Business Plan contest. The entries were the standard fare one would expect; no new Googles or FedEx’s were unleashed upon us. However, one entry literally took my breath away. It is said that there is a tide in the affairs of men which taken at the flood, leads to fortune. This was my tide I thought, and my instant reaction was “Man! I wanna plagiarize this plan and start my own business. NOW!!”

Of course, I’m being sarcastic. What follows is the most hilarious, balls-burstingly funny business plan ever. And this too, it was later found, was plagiarized (which allayed my concerns about IP protection rights of the participant (ya, pfaw!) and led to me writing this post.)

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BUSINESS PLANNING(B-PLAN)

By-Vivek Kumar Yadav

This is the Business Plan which can be started by a farmer in the village who has 15000 rupees and some area for animal shelter.

First Stage

A small he -goat of age around 20 to 30 days costing around 750 rupees each is used. With the investment of 7500, ten he-goats can be purchased. These will be reared for five to six months. For rearing the farmer will make use of his own sources like fields as well as extra 7500 rupees. These six months for the rearing should be chosen in such a way that at the end of these six months, we have some festivals like Ild,Diwali or Holi etc.Such a time period is chosen so that they can be taken to the nearby city and sold off. If the rearing is done properly they will be sold between 5000 to 6000.

1 he-goat = 5000

10 he-goats = 50000

After six months the farmer will have fifty thousand.

Second Stage

This time the farmer will spend his fifty thousand in buying the he-goats of age around three months. This will cost him 3000 per goat.

Estimated Coast per goat = 3000

So totally he can buy 21 goats by adding 1000 rupees more. Then rearing these for two months or so then these will be sold at a price of around 5000.

Total earning after 2 months = 21*5000= 105000 Rupees.

Again regulating this process for two months.

This time number of goats = 105000/3000= 35

After 1 month these will cost =358*5000 = 175000.

Now we have 175000. We will divide this money in two parts.

1^{st part}

100000 will be utilized for rearing and regulating the process for six months.

2^{nd part}

Rest 75000 will be utilized for buying a second hand small transport vehicle which will transport the things & goats and in the free time it can be used a public transport. Money fetched by this method will be utilized for rearing of the goats.

After six months we have 1750000Rs.

Again this money will be divided into two parts

1^st part

We have 12, 00,000

This will be utilized for a dairy of 20 buffalo’s. The cost of one buffalo will be around 40000 Rs & will give milk around 8 litres every day. This makes 16 lit per day per buffalo.

The total milk bought would be 15 Rs per litres .Taking whole milk to the near by city like Kanpur .This will be sold around 18 to 20 Rs per lit.

So for 600 litres we have 12000 Rs. Thus we will have 12000 Rs per day. From this we will deduct 5000 Rs the milk which is bought from near by villages.

Therefore net earning of the day = 7000 Rs

Out of 7000 rupees we will save around y = 320 lit

320 lit per day & buying the milk from near by villages making the net quantity of milk as 600 litres.

This makes 120000 Rs per month.

2^nd part

Using 30000 we can set up a small unit for manufacturing of washing soaps & powder. The washing soap is of Rs 5 in the market which will be manufactured in the unit. In reality this 5Rs coats 50 paisa.

Firstly after manufacturing a small quantity of the above these soaps will be given to the public for free. After their satisfaction the soap will be allowed for sale.

This soap will sold in the villages in which we have provided free soaps, then spreading in to other villages.

The cost of the soap will be 2Rs & name of the soap will be the name of village in which it is being sold therefore many names.

Similar procedure for the washing powder.

Sales

In a normal village we have around 100 houses and in a district we have more 1000 villages. If we cover these 1000 villages then we would be able to sell around 30 soaps per village.

This makes 1000*30 =30000 soaps per day. These soaps will bring 60000 Rs per day out of which 15000 Rs will be required for manufacturing. Around 25 thousand will be utilized for other expenditure & we will save 20 thousand per day.

So per month we will have around 6 lakhs rupees.

3^{rd part}

Rest 250000 will be utilized for rearing and regulating the goats.

Net earning after six months

He- goats will fetch = 4375000 Rs

Dairy will fetch = 720000 Rs

Soap & washing powder will fetch = 3600000 Rs

Hence total we have 8695000 Rs

Out of this, 50 lakhs will be used for transport industry like for trucks & some small vehicles for tourist purpose.

Other 5 lakhs for rearing and regulating he – goats.

20 lakhs for setting small flour mill & oil mill. The flour will utilize the market made by soap & washing powder.

Rest money for the mechanizing the dairy and soap industry.

Now this has provided a never failing base, for further growth of any other industry. After this we set this industry to larger scales.

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Ok. Stop laughing now.